I want to walk on stilts...naked
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
