We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
