he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Come on in and take your pants off
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