JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Rumble strips road head = magical
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
