So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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