If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
