The maid of honor just puked.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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