The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
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