I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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