I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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