Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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