I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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