Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
