it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
