ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
