Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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