I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
