Nicole vs. Life
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I did not marry a roomba.
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