we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
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If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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