I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
