he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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