My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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