I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
