I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
