Girls should come with a carfax report
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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