It's like God shit irony all over that family
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
