he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
