tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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