so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
