do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
