I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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