Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
