i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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