dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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