Bisexual people are plain selfish.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
