You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
