We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Vodka?
Forever.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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