Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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