you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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