"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
