this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
