We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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