Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Four minutes until I can fart!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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