I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
well you can't waste a boner
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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