Will you blow on my dice?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
