My first STD was from a foam party
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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