Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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