i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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