Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
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If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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