So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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