I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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