Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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