My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
