Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
