I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Randomize
