THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
