Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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