i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
