There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
