I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
